So, this post was originally titled "HEAT WAVE - AWESOME DANCE!" and began as follows:
"That's right - the dance this past Friday was AWESOME!
(TANGENT: I kept thinking of calling it 'best dance ever,' but I so commonly abuse superlatives that I'm starting to feel a tad bothered when I get into exaggeration mode. Which is, to be fair, the mode I most often operate in in casual circumstances, but I really think I get so much more satisfaction out of using greater precision of language in my compliments and self-expression. For one, I love the nuances of meaning in language. For two, exact compliments from me are always more sincere. Especially if they sound odd and include random adjectives that may apply more intuitively than by literal definition. In this case, 'awesome dance' wasn't very exact...but when I want to be particularly precise I tend NOT to be concise, and titles demand brevity.)
TANGENT OVER."
Then I realized that the tangent was NOT over - or if it was, a new one had to follow, cuz rereading the last one reminded me of this mini-goal of mine. I'm trying to stop "dumbing down" mah language in casual conversation. I've mentioned this to some of y'all – a lot of us do this. Trying to avoid "smart-sounding" language in order to avoid seeming like a show-off. Doing the "you know...(trail off)" when you probably actually COULD finish the sentence effectively. Also searching for simpler words instead of the more correct one you have in mind. Some of my favorite people EVER are the ones who just use beautifully intelligent language naturally - and they never sound like show-offs, either! In that first tangent I had a great deal of fun using whatever words I WANTED to describe my train of thought. Note: blogs are public but the audience is undefined so the posts are more self-addressed, which provides an ideal environment for practicing this kind of "freedom of speech"...interesting.
But anyway, after all that, I'm going to continue to use only the word "AWESOME" to describe the dance. There was such good energy! So much fun interaction! I felt less inhibited than usual. Then again, when I'm dancing (without fear) is one of the times I feel the most free. The other times I feel the most free and the most truly myself are those rare occasions I can get up to a comfortable lope on a horse, outside somewhere, with sky and nature...and when I'm at the temple, deep in my scripture-ponder-pray cycle...when I'm singing and/or otherwise performing uplifting music and reach a moment of joy that extends beyond the song...and when I get the chance to sit and write outdoors. Especially somewhere with a body of water and trees. Beach w/ palm trees, park by a lake, forest near a stream, whatever.
Interestingly, each of these five things, done properly, require a certain willingness to "lose myself" a bit, or let go of control and take a leap into something difficult (re: impossible?) to define. Maybe that's another possible meaning of "he who loseth his life shall find it." I'd like to seek more of those moments in my life. Having just verbalized (is it verbal if it's written...? Kay, articulated) those five things and the feeling that connects them, I think I can endeavor to DO them more. Get more out of life than I do sitting on a computer! Which, while fun and occasionally useful, is getting to me, and I must be off.
Somehow, this post went all over the place. Hopefully it didn’t make you dizzy! This is what an average minute in my mind is like.
Luvs to all!
Lauren
P.S. Today is Day 1 of read the Book of Mormon through before the new year! 4 pages a day should do it. Let me know if you're following along! Maybe I'll make some kind of graph to chart my progress...
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Too School for Cool
I think that's a silly phrase, though it aptly describes me - I'm more likely to care about school than being cool!
Speaking of which, classes began. I'm just in 6 hours atm (still in the recovery process), but that's working out very nicely thus far. Thus far = after having attended the first class for each of my two classes. THIS time I will STAY ON TOP of things! Which will be much easier with only 2 classes to manage, plus Institute. :)
I'm taking a math class and a science class...oh, woe for all the doomed efforts I've made since freshman year to get my generals out of the way first! Something always foils me.
But in the mean time, this is my last year of school. :) For my bachelor's, anyway. What a relief! I'm pondering moving home for this and next semester, though. Still coming up to Denton all the time, of course, for classes and to chill, but since I have plans to go to Hawaii next semester and finish my last courses online, I may as well change my living arrangements now and save on the expense.
Hawaii will be AWESOME. My sister-in-law invited me out there! The idea is to stay with her and my bro, ideally for 1-3 months, less if it comes down to it, and catch onto the "aloha" spirit of things. It will be super-good for me to live in a place where a.) natural beauty runs rampant and b.) the society around me isn't in constant go-go-go mode. Cuz I need some slow-slow-slow time.
Which reminds me of something I said earlier this year - in the beginning of summer, at Disney World with my fam. I LOVED being there, but most of the time I was more anxious to walk faster, see and do more than the ones I was with! I thought about how great it would be to find a loved one not only able and willing to keep up with me, but who also enjoys the pace and the things I want to do and see. Then I thought about the flip side - cuz on the other hand, I'd really like that someone to be able to slow down and smell the roses / enjoy the silence / chill with me. And the phrase came to my mind that what I'm looking for is someone who'll "go with me when I'm going, and slow with me when I'm slowing." ....yay rhymes! Which can apply to all sorts of metaphysical/spiritual/etc aspects of life. Isn't that nice? :D
Oh, also. Check this out. Randomly this summer, I went through my mama's bookcase and pulled out a book called "Using the Book of Mormon to Combat the Falsehoods of Organic Evolution". I started reading it and I quite like it. This I did, having forgotten entirely that I'm taking a Physical Anthropology class that's all to do with evolution, etc! First class period, though, the prof. (a distinctly non-religious man) made a particular point that ALL "ways of knowing" require faith in SOMETHING/SOMEONE. So, essentially, whether we're putting faith in research and theories, which can easily be skewed or leave out important parts or be interpreted incorrectly, or putting faith in a religion or scripture, which also can be easily misinterpreted etc, one way's not more valid than the other. With the add'l help of the spirit, which confirms truth, both can be validly used to identify what is true and what is not :D
Anyway, I'll write more later about my ideas about grad school. And I promise, that "In Response to Twilight" thing is in the works. It's really hard to maintain a sincere tone instead of a sarcastic one, but I will do it!
Love much,
Lauren
Speaking of which, classes began. I'm just in 6 hours atm (still in the recovery process), but that's working out very nicely thus far. Thus far = after having attended the first class for each of my two classes. THIS time I will STAY ON TOP of things! Which will be much easier with only 2 classes to manage, plus Institute. :)
I'm taking a math class and a science class...oh, woe for all the doomed efforts I've made since freshman year to get my generals out of the way first! Something always foils me.
But in the mean time, this is my last year of school. :) For my bachelor's, anyway. What a relief! I'm pondering moving home for this and next semester, though. Still coming up to Denton all the time, of course, for classes and to chill, but since I have plans to go to Hawaii next semester and finish my last courses online, I may as well change my living arrangements now and save on the expense.
Hawaii will be AWESOME. My sister-in-law invited me out there! The idea is to stay with her and my bro, ideally for 1-3 months, less if it comes down to it, and catch onto the "aloha" spirit of things. It will be super-good for me to live in a place where a.) natural beauty runs rampant and b.) the society around me isn't in constant go-go-go mode. Cuz I need some slow-slow-slow time.
Which reminds me of something I said earlier this year - in the beginning of summer, at Disney World with my fam. I LOVED being there, but most of the time I was more anxious to walk faster, see and do more than the ones I was with! I thought about how great it would be to find a loved one not only able and willing to keep up with me, but who also enjoys the pace and the things I want to do and see. Then I thought about the flip side - cuz on the other hand, I'd really like that someone to be able to slow down and smell the roses / enjoy the silence / chill with me. And the phrase came to my mind that what I'm looking for is someone who'll "go with me when I'm going, and slow with me when I'm slowing." ....yay rhymes! Which can apply to all sorts of metaphysical/spiritual/etc aspects of life. Isn't that nice? :D
Oh, also. Check this out. Randomly this summer, I went through my mama's bookcase and pulled out a book called "Using the Book of Mormon to Combat the Falsehoods of Organic Evolution". I started reading it and I quite like it. This I did, having forgotten entirely that I'm taking a Physical Anthropology class that's all to do with evolution, etc! First class period, though, the prof. (a distinctly non-religious man) made a particular point that ALL "ways of knowing" require faith in SOMETHING/SOMEONE. So, essentially, whether we're putting faith in research and theories, which can easily be skewed or leave out important parts or be interpreted incorrectly, or putting faith in a religion or scripture, which also can be easily misinterpreted etc, one way's not more valid than the other. With the add'l help of the spirit, which confirms truth, both can be validly used to identify what is true and what is not :D
Anyway, I'll write more later about my ideas about grad school. And I promise, that "In Response to Twilight" thing is in the works. It's really hard to maintain a sincere tone instead of a sarcastic one, but I will do it!
Love much,
Lauren
Saturday, August 20, 2011
My Big Bag of Story Ideas
So, I have about five bajillion ideas for stories in my head, some of which are just fun and silly, some of which I take semi-seriously but are still rather silly and indulgent, and one of which my entire heart and soul is wrapped up in. Some are just concepts, some are scenes, some have plots planned out, etc. Most are based on other works, and/or folk tales / fairy tales, but the more original things are dearest to my heart. Here's a glimpse!
Fun and Silly
Char Enchanted - wouldn't it be fun to see the entirety of Ella Enchanted from Char's point of view?
Zelda / Disney tales / movies and games in general - often when I play or watch things, these beautiful descriptions rise up in my mind. I start making connections and expanding the back story and the emotional journeys of each character, and I just want to do something with it! These are the easiest for me to just pull up and write down because I have absolutely 0 pressure on myself to do anything with them.
Semi-Serious But Mostly Just Fun
Meditations on Cinderella - I introduced this before, it's my collection of interrelated snippets and scenes that all revolve around the idea of Cinderella. In particular, I have three more developed ideas:
- "Charming" (title and idea suggested by my good friend Dusty when I mentioned CE, above, to her) is very similar to the original Cinderella tale (well, the Charles Perrault version, which is hardly 'original' but it's the earliest incarnation of the story we're most familiar with). The twist: it's entirely from the Prince's point of view. It's actually a rather different story when you focus only on what he knows and sees!
- "Cinderella - Ploy" is a working title. Also from the Prince's POV, but this time the prince is a presumptuous jerk and his parents are tyrants. Cinderella isn't really a girl named Cinderella - that's just her code name. She represents a coalition of dissatisfied subjects on the brink of revolt, and her presence at the ball is all part of an elaborate plot to blackmail the prince into addressing their grievances. I have some short excerpts from this one that I'm willing to share, anyone interested in seeing them?
- Another idea that started as "Charming" but exploded into much more is this one where "Cinderella" was actually the daughter of a nobleman. When she was 5 or so, while out in the market with her stepmom & stepsister, she got lost. A wandering performance troupe found her and took her on. (They have a fire theme. Their stage names are all things like Flame, Ashe, Cohl, etc so the name they give her is Cinders.) Much happens between this time and the ball, but the ball isn't nearly the end...! There's much more to it than that, but I'll leave off here for now.
Gwyn's Knights - based on Snow White. Gwyneira, which literally translates to "snow white," is the young princess. As was true in early renditions of the tale, it's seven knights instead of seven dwarves. These knights each drank from the holy grail long ago and are thus immortal; their duty now is to protect the grail from anyone else misusing it. The evil queen is seeking immortality and power - as well as the grail, she's developing a potion/spell to aid her in this quest. Beauty is a main ingredient, so the queen uses her mirror and her mysterious, half-magical 'hunter' to locate fair maidens and bring them to the castle, where she extracts the beauty and life out of them through a fatal, magical process. When the queen attempted to test an early version of this process on 7 y o Gwyn, she failed and Gwyn ran away to the knights in the woods, where she grows up. The story proceeds from there!
Layla's Crimson Cloak - based on little red riding hood. Layla's parents tell her the cloak is magical and she must wear it at all times for protection. She spends a year with her grandmother, who is queen of a small kingdom. In that kingdom are some people who spontaneously turn into wolves, and these people are horribly mistreated. Layla works to help them obtain rights and protection through her grandmother the queen.
Alma's Sons - based on stories from the Book of Mormon. Alma the Younger's three sons, as well as Captain Moroni, were kids & teens at about the same time. This story would explore the various circumstances each faced and the personal choices each made that led to the very different people they became in later life.
Mormon's Book - Near the end of the Book of Mormon is Mormon's actual story, which is simply incredible. I'd want to follow him from youth to adulthood, the difficulties he faced as a young leader of a stubbornly iniquitous people while he worked to compile and abridge hundreds of years' worth of his forefathers' historical and religious records. It would go up until his death and the destruction of his people, and lead into a sequel dealing with his son Moroni, living alone and on the run, while he attempted to complete his father's abridgement.
Tindale - not sure exactly the detail of this one, but it's set in the time of William Tindale and his translating the Bible into English for the first time. I imagine the main character to be a young woman who faithfully attends the Catholic Church and listens to the scriptures and sermons in Latin, and how it changes her life to be able to read the Bible herself.
The Serious One
The working title for the last 10 years has been The Great Tsunami, but that no longer really fits. Where do I even begin?
Main character, a 12 y o boy named Jaff, is cousin to the royal family in a kingdom called Mavell. He gets picked on by the prince and other extended family members. :( But worse, Mavell is overthrown and he (along with the others) are carried off as slaves to the northern kingdom of Allaia. Jaff grows up there as a slave to an influential politician, who tells him that by law he can earn emancipation and citizenship if he swears an oath of loyalty to the Allaia and demonstrates good behavior for 5 years. As Jaff strives for this goal and adjusts to his new life, he begins having vivid dreams. He learns he is actually a Seer, and as an adult it is his duty to overcome his childhood fears and shy nature, search out his old bullying cousins in order to restore the royal family and the kingdom of Marvell, and warn the people of many nations against both physical and spiritual upcoming catastrophes.
And that's just the bare bones skeleton of it all!
It is this final story that all my passion and devotion is truly invested in. Look for it in stores...someday!
Oh and also, the text in the bg of my header is from this story. :)
Tata for now!
Lauren
Fun and Silly
Char Enchanted - wouldn't it be fun to see the entirety of Ella Enchanted from Char's point of view?
Zelda / Disney tales / movies and games in general - often when I play or watch things, these beautiful descriptions rise up in my mind. I start making connections and expanding the back story and the emotional journeys of each character, and I just want to do something with it! These are the easiest for me to just pull up and write down because I have absolutely 0 pressure on myself to do anything with them.
Semi-Serious But Mostly Just Fun
Meditations on Cinderella - I introduced this before, it's my collection of interrelated snippets and scenes that all revolve around the idea of Cinderella. In particular, I have three more developed ideas:
- "Charming" (title and idea suggested by my good friend Dusty when I mentioned CE, above, to her) is very similar to the original Cinderella tale (well, the Charles Perrault version, which is hardly 'original' but it's the earliest incarnation of the story we're most familiar with). The twist: it's entirely from the Prince's point of view. It's actually a rather different story when you focus only on what he knows and sees!
- "Cinderella - Ploy" is a working title. Also from the Prince's POV, but this time the prince is a presumptuous jerk and his parents are tyrants. Cinderella isn't really a girl named Cinderella - that's just her code name. She represents a coalition of dissatisfied subjects on the brink of revolt, and her presence at the ball is all part of an elaborate plot to blackmail the prince into addressing their grievances. I have some short excerpts from this one that I'm willing to share, anyone interested in seeing them?
- Another idea that started as "Charming" but exploded into much more is this one where "Cinderella" was actually the daughter of a nobleman. When she was 5 or so, while out in the market with her stepmom & stepsister, she got lost. A wandering performance troupe found her and took her on. (They have a fire theme. Their stage names are all things like Flame, Ashe, Cohl, etc so the name they give her is Cinders.) Much happens between this time and the ball, but the ball isn't nearly the end...! There's much more to it than that, but I'll leave off here for now.
Gwyn's Knights - based on Snow White. Gwyneira, which literally translates to "snow white," is the young princess. As was true in early renditions of the tale, it's seven knights instead of seven dwarves. These knights each drank from the holy grail long ago and are thus immortal; their duty now is to protect the grail from anyone else misusing it. The evil queen is seeking immortality and power - as well as the grail, she's developing a potion/spell to aid her in this quest. Beauty is a main ingredient, so the queen uses her mirror and her mysterious, half-magical 'hunter' to locate fair maidens and bring them to the castle, where she extracts the beauty and life out of them through a fatal, magical process. When the queen attempted to test an early version of this process on 7 y o Gwyn, she failed and Gwyn ran away to the knights in the woods, where she grows up. The story proceeds from there!
Layla's Crimson Cloak - based on little red riding hood. Layla's parents tell her the cloak is magical and she must wear it at all times for protection. She spends a year with her grandmother, who is queen of a small kingdom. In that kingdom are some people who spontaneously turn into wolves, and these people are horribly mistreated. Layla works to help them obtain rights and protection through her grandmother the queen.
Alma's Sons - based on stories from the Book of Mormon. Alma the Younger's three sons, as well as Captain Moroni, were kids & teens at about the same time. This story would explore the various circumstances each faced and the personal choices each made that led to the very different people they became in later life.
Mormon's Book - Near the end of the Book of Mormon is Mormon's actual story, which is simply incredible. I'd want to follow him from youth to adulthood, the difficulties he faced as a young leader of a stubbornly iniquitous people while he worked to compile and abridge hundreds of years' worth of his forefathers' historical and religious records. It would go up until his death and the destruction of his people, and lead into a sequel dealing with his son Moroni, living alone and on the run, while he attempted to complete his father's abridgement.
Tindale - not sure exactly the detail of this one, but it's set in the time of William Tindale and his translating the Bible into English for the first time. I imagine the main character to be a young woman who faithfully attends the Catholic Church and listens to the scriptures and sermons in Latin, and how it changes her life to be able to read the Bible herself.
The Serious One
The working title for the last 10 years has been The Great Tsunami, but that no longer really fits. Where do I even begin?
Main character, a 12 y o boy named Jaff, is cousin to the royal family in a kingdom called Mavell. He gets picked on by the prince and other extended family members. :( But worse, Mavell is overthrown and he (along with the others) are carried off as slaves to the northern kingdom of Allaia. Jaff grows up there as a slave to an influential politician, who tells him that by law he can earn emancipation and citizenship if he swears an oath of loyalty to the Allaia and demonstrates good behavior for 5 years. As Jaff strives for this goal and adjusts to his new life, he begins having vivid dreams. He learns he is actually a Seer, and as an adult it is his duty to overcome his childhood fears and shy nature, search out his old bullying cousins in order to restore the royal family and the kingdom of Marvell, and warn the people of many nations against both physical and spiritual upcoming catastrophes.
And that's just the bare bones skeleton of it all!
It is this final story that all my passion and devotion is truly invested in. Look for it in stores...someday!
Oh and also, the text in the bg of my header is from this story. :)
Tata for now!
Lauren
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Lord of the Regency?
You all know that I'm in an intense Regency / Jane Austen mood. But now, swelling in power and force, my great love for Lord of the Rings / Tolkien in general has returned! It's a good thing I found my History of Middle-Earth collection...and that Mama&Papa just got the extended LotR on blu-ray!!!
Also, my copy of The Two Towers is still missing, but turns out the whole trilogy is available as a free app on my phone.
Which reminds me! I have a new phone! 'Tis exciting. Oh yes, and Kim Rice is my new roommate! She's made of all sorts of awesomeness. I loved living with Lindsay, but Kim has been so fun. The Lord was definitely involved in that arrangement working out!
Anyway. Back to Regency. I'm making a dress in the style of Jane Austen times. I just finished the toile / mock-up, and it's a good thing I got all my impatience & corner-cutting out of my system before using the pretty fabric! Here's a pic (during which I'm blinking):
Well, I hope I just inserted a picture...I've never used the Blogger app before.
It's got lazy stitching (if stitching it can be called), a backwards sleeve, an incorrectly cut skirt panel and an inside-out neckline, but voilá! It doesn't fit correctly without the proper undergarments, but they're up next. Also, I'd like to see if I can modify the pattern to fit in a modern "summer dress" kind of way, if I mess with the skirt options and other areas' fit and such.
Anyway, that's all for "Lord of the Regency"! I may or may not write another post after this one. (actuallyIalreadywrotemorebeforerealizingitwasentirelytangentialtothesubjectofthispostsoI'mpostingotseparately...shhh!)
Night,
Laurenkin
Friday, July 22, 2011
In Other News
I love to sing. Like many other people, I'm sure, I often get all "my voice isn't that great"-feeling and, ridiculously, let those feelings prevent me from singing as freely as I would like, even to myself. What silliness!
Anyway, I've been wondering for a while what type of music suits me best - the style I like to sing and the music I most enjoy. I grew up on musicals, I love pop, rock, golden oldies, classical and Celtic music, and pretty much any choir music. Until recently, I considered myself a "floater" with no particular "home" in any genre. BUT ALL THAT HAS CHANGED! Jim & Judy Gwilliam's 50th Anniversary Bash + my Michael Bublé Pandora station + seeing Casey Abrams perform jazz live has brought me to the realization that classic jazz standards are where my heart (and vocal cords...?) truly lies! (lie!) Hoorah for that.
Also. I am in a mood lately. I'm going to call it my GO FOR IT mood. I'm just in the mood to GO FOR IT. That is all.
By the way, all - I am constantly having ideas for blog posts. I guess my default "think" setting is to frame my thoughts as if I'm going to write and present them, even tho I usually never do. So! I have come up with blog titles for my various thoughts, and you can choose my next blog:
In Response to Twilight: My Kind of Man
Proof I Am A Loser (but not the kind you think)
Pondering the Principle of Sacrifice vs. Living Up to Your Privileges
The Adventures of Lauren and Lindsay: American Idols Concert & our Overnight Trip to OKC!
Jaff, Son of Jezsik: the Boy Who's Lived in my Head for 10 Years
Reinvented Fairy Tales: my Big Bag of Story Concepts
Random Things I'd Like to Write Papers About
So there. Choose as you like. I may or may not be inspired differently, but I'm pretty sure I'll be happy to go with whatever you choose (since I've mentally composed/outlined each one already).
Farewell, all!
Lauren
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
In Defense of Dating.
I must now expound on my theory about dates, as briefly stated on facebook!
It is true, I do indeed believe that the best way to get over a ridiculous crush is to go on a date with that person. Nothing's better at shattering romantic illusions about a person than being confronted with the reality of spending time with that person in an extended, one-on-one situation. Not meant to be mean, just true!
So often in my experience, I've observed the surface qualities of a person and melded them with my mental image of what I'm looking for, and then pined over the guy (let's call him Guy A) for weeks or months. Rather depressing, doesn't uplift or enrich my life at all, and (least important facet of all) I'm sure the pining, desperate look isn't all that attractive. ;)
At some point I figured, well dennit, rather than having a long drawn out, self-destructive cycle, why don't I just ask Guy A on a date or ask him to take me on a date? (Gentlemen, you may replace "Guy A" with "Girl A.") Three crushes in a row, I went through the pine-pine-pine cycle, and all it took was the one date to cure my ailment.
This is NOT because I then developed negative feelings about Guy A. In fact, my respect and liking for each one of them increased post-date. But man, going on a date and thus being paired off for a short-term "mock" partnership is an ENTIRELY different experience from doing group things together and somewhat touching on what it's like to really spend time with a person. Most direct and easy way to find out, "oh, we don't really gel like I thought we might" or "wow, our interests are more different than I thought."
On the OTHER hand, there's nothing that can match the power of a one-on-one date to develop a strong platonic friendship between a guy and a girl, even if there's no romantic connection. I've seen girl friends of mine get asked on a date, then worry about "not wanting to encourage" a guy they didn't feel interested in - and come away having had a blast and gotten a good, loyal, close guy friend in the process. I'm sure the same is true on the flip side, with guys coming away with strong non-romantic friendships with girls after going on a date.
Furthermore, I have found that a date is not only a good way to discover you're not actually interested in someone you thought you were - or making better friends with someone you knew in a group-setting before - but going on a date can also serve to confirm by experience, rather than conjecture, that you're not interested in a guy.
Let's say you, as an unattached fe/male, suspect or find out "Guy (Girl) B," whom you're not interested in, is interested you. Guy (Girl) B then asks you on a date. So you go on the date, and the experience itself serves as confirmation of what you guessed before - you're not interested, you don't connect well. But now you know for sure and you've given Guy (Girl) B a fair chance. If they ask a second time, it's always okay to say no!
I repeat: if they retain interest, you can always say no to the second date. I know life's all more complicated than that etc, etc, but still, it breaks my heart to see awesome young men turned down without even getting a chance, not to mention awesome young women dismissed from the "realm of interest" and never ever getting asked on dates. Thar be many unsuspected "diamonds in the rough" in the dating world, and it's sad when even those diamonds lose sight of the fact that they have something precious to offer. :(
Of course, there's also the chance that going on a date with Guy (Girl) B ends up surprising you with a good time, connection, shared interest, etc that you had formerly ruled out as possible. In which case, hey look, the diamond in the rough ain't so rough anymore! :D
And all of this gives far more room for Guy (Girl) C to get their chance. Guy (Girl) C is the one that, in groups and from a distance you are interested in and really enjoy. Known or unbeknownst to you, Guy (Girl) C might have an interest or inclination toward you as well. I have a theory that if more Guy/Girl As and Bs are given their chance, more Guy/Girl Cs will take the chance as well. :)
Overall, though, my biggest wish is that young ladies wouldn't feel so pressured when asked on a date, worrying about "giving the wrong impression." Saying "yes" doesn't HAVE to mean "I am consciously interested in dating you." And if that is what it means, so much the better! :)
I tend to imagine that, if young ladies more often reserved their "no"s for more substantial reasons than vague disinclination, perhaps young men wouldn't be sticking their necks out QUITE so badly when they ask. And vice versa.
And please, I am not saying that a girl who has a "gut feeling" they shouldn't go on a date should ignore that feeling! Above all else, trust the spirit, of course. But though there are myriad valid reasons a girl (or guy) might want to say no to being asked on a date by a certain person or even going on dates at all, it is my conjecture that if we all stopped trying to balance the huge weight of FEAR OF FALSE IMPRESSIONS on the tops of our heads and just said yes, we'd get all sorts of positive experiences in return. Including, but not limited to, a potential romantic relationship. ^^
If anyone reading this comes away with the conclusion that what I'm really getting at is that I'd just like to be asked out, I dare say they've entirely missed the point.
Lauren
It is true, I do indeed believe that the best way to get over a ridiculous crush is to go on a date with that person. Nothing's better at shattering romantic illusions about a person than being confronted with the reality of spending time with that person in an extended, one-on-one situation. Not meant to be mean, just true!
So often in my experience, I've observed the surface qualities of a person and melded them with my mental image of what I'm looking for, and then pined over the guy (let's call him Guy A) for weeks or months. Rather depressing, doesn't uplift or enrich my life at all, and (least important facet of all) I'm sure the pining, desperate look isn't all that attractive. ;)
At some point I figured, well dennit, rather than having a long drawn out, self-destructive cycle, why don't I just ask Guy A on a date or ask him to take me on a date? (Gentlemen, you may replace "Guy A" with "Girl A.") Three crushes in a row, I went through the pine-pine-pine cycle, and all it took was the one date to cure my ailment.
This is NOT because I then developed negative feelings about Guy A. In fact, my respect and liking for each one of them increased post-date. But man, going on a date and thus being paired off for a short-term "mock" partnership is an ENTIRELY different experience from doing group things together and somewhat touching on what it's like to really spend time with a person. Most direct and easy way to find out, "oh, we don't really gel like I thought we might" or "wow, our interests are more different than I thought."
On the OTHER hand, there's nothing that can match the power of a one-on-one date to develop a strong platonic friendship between a guy and a girl, even if there's no romantic connection. I've seen girl friends of mine get asked on a date, then worry about "not wanting to encourage" a guy they didn't feel interested in - and come away having had a blast and gotten a good, loyal, close guy friend in the process. I'm sure the same is true on the flip side, with guys coming away with strong non-romantic friendships with girls after going on a date.
Furthermore, I have found that a date is not only a good way to discover you're not actually interested in someone you thought you were - or making better friends with someone you knew in a group-setting before - but going on a date can also serve to confirm by experience, rather than conjecture, that you're not interested in a guy.
Let's say you, as an unattached fe/male, suspect or find out "Guy (Girl) B," whom you're not interested in, is interested you. Guy (Girl) B then asks you on a date. So you go on the date, and the experience itself serves as confirmation of what you guessed before - you're not interested, you don't connect well. But now you know for sure and you've given Guy (Girl) B a fair chance. If they ask a second time, it's always okay to say no!
I repeat: if they retain interest, you can always say no to the second date. I know life's all more complicated than that etc, etc, but still, it breaks my heart to see awesome young men turned down without even getting a chance, not to mention awesome young women dismissed from the "realm of interest" and never ever getting asked on dates. Thar be many unsuspected "diamonds in the rough" in the dating world, and it's sad when even those diamonds lose sight of the fact that they have something precious to offer. :(
Of course, there's also the chance that going on a date with Guy (Girl) B ends up surprising you with a good time, connection, shared interest, etc that you had formerly ruled out as possible. In which case, hey look, the diamond in the rough ain't so rough anymore! :D
And all of this gives far more room for Guy (Girl) C to get their chance. Guy (Girl) C is the one that, in groups and from a distance you are interested in and really enjoy. Known or unbeknownst to you, Guy (Girl) C might have an interest or inclination toward you as well. I have a theory that if more Guy/Girl As and Bs are given their chance, more Guy/Girl Cs will take the chance as well. :)
Overall, though, my biggest wish is that young ladies wouldn't feel so pressured when asked on a date, worrying about "giving the wrong impression." Saying "yes" doesn't HAVE to mean "I am consciously interested in dating you." And if that is what it means, so much the better! :)
I tend to imagine that, if young ladies more often reserved their "no"s for more substantial reasons than vague disinclination, perhaps young men wouldn't be sticking their necks out QUITE so badly when they ask. And vice versa.
And please, I am not saying that a girl who has a "gut feeling" they shouldn't go on a date should ignore that feeling! Above all else, trust the spirit, of course. But though there are myriad valid reasons a girl (or guy) might want to say no to being asked on a date by a certain person or even going on dates at all, it is my conjecture that if we all stopped trying to balance the huge weight of FEAR OF FALSE IMPRESSIONS on the tops of our heads and just said yes, we'd get all sorts of positive experiences in return. Including, but not limited to, a potential romantic relationship. ^^
If anyone reading this comes away with the conclusion that what I'm really getting at is that I'd just like to be asked out, I dare say they've entirely missed the point.
Lauren
Friday, June 17, 2011
Magical, Wonderful Walt Disney World!
So, most of the major summer commitments are past (funny how a few weeks ago it felt like my whole summer was booked, but now that I've reached mid-June, it's really not). And slowly but surely, I'm unwinding, as I'd hoped!
You know what? Unwinding is HARD! That might be counter-intuitive but it's true. Unwinding truly began for me when Mom, Dad, Lindsay and I went to Disney World. I was afraid it would be a rush, rush, busy week - you know, the kind of vacation that's fun, but so jam-packed with fun that you barely have time to breathe. It turned out, though, that even with getting to see everything we wanted to see...the trip was so relaxing!
Not gonna lie, the first evening there my brain kept trying to think of things to worry about, and was almost unable to deal with having nothing come up. Normally I'm constantly aware of other things I "should" or could be doing, how much money I'm spending (or making my parents spend, in this case) on a meal, what to prepare for meals, all the things at home that need my attention.
At the resort though, especially that first night, the only things we should or could be doing were...whatever we wanted. We had a dining plan, so during dinner I couldn't be mentally calculating how much I was costing my family, because it was just "1 meal" and we had meals for the whole vacay pre-paid. I didn't have to say "no, no, I'm not buying myself anything" and then feel guilty if I did, because my dad very graciously planned ahead to cover some souvenirs for me, and even ENCOURAGED me to let myself look for something I wanted. And, thanks to a fantastic Relief Society President and Compassionate Service leader...the apartment at home was entirely, beautifully clean and organized.
So, what did I do, in the face of nothing to worry about for at least a week? What else could I do but cry! Especially that first night, every random little thing just set me off - seeing the hammocks on the beach of the lake, seeing the sunlight on the water, eating dinner and having nothing to stress about. I feel a little bit silly sharing that fact with the World Wide Web (aka a few of my personal friends who read this, lol!), but I think those bouts of tears were a release of years' worth of stress and pain. Nothing could have been better for me than that week at Disney World, with that chance to cry the way I needed to!
Well, I'm getting tired of being on the computer, so I'll just give the highlights of the week in chronological order. If you want to hear about anything in more detail, just ask!
1.) The Epcot World Showcase. I spent at least a full hour in the France Pavilion, another in the Morocco Pavilion, and had a lot of fun talking to the people there native to those countries. When I said "bonjour" to the gift shop boy "Geoffroy," this is what he said about my accent: "To my ear, it is French." And I talked to the gift shop boy "Yassine" in (very limited, mostly forgotten) Arabic, and he said I had a natural accent as well. I have decided once again that I need to travel the world...or at least the mediterranean.
2.) Magic Kingdom. Going to Tom Sawyer Island like we did as kids, climbing just like we did as kids, but in places we couldn't reach as kids and probably shouldn't have gotten to as adults...heckyes!
3.) Water Park. Lazy. River. 'Nough said.
4.) Sitting along the beach and writing.
5.) Animal Kingdom. We went on the little Safari thing, and we saw (and got pictues of!) elephants, giraffes, alligators, etc, and a lion - a lion that was actually standing on a rock height, not just lazing about! Incredibly majestic.
5.) one of the best things of my WHOLE WEEK - doing the "storybook princess" thing at Magic Kingdom by myself after the family had already gone back to the room, not knowing whether it was a ride or what, and then getting to talk to Aurora, Belle and Cinderella. We discussed literature, among other things. <3!
6.) Dinner at the Akershus Royal Banquet Hall on the Norway Pavilion on our last night there. We could see fireworks through the window and had wonderful, authentic Norwegian food - and I got alllll the princesses (it was Character Dining!) to sign the front flap of my writing journal. :)
So, whether on a planned vacation or at home, with loved ones or alone, I hope you get at least a few moments this summer where there's nowhere you need to be except where you are, and you can truly unwind.
Happy June!
Lauren
You know what? Unwinding is HARD! That might be counter-intuitive but it's true. Unwinding truly began for me when Mom, Dad, Lindsay and I went to Disney World. I was afraid it would be a rush, rush, busy week - you know, the kind of vacation that's fun, but so jam-packed with fun that you barely have time to breathe. It turned out, though, that even with getting to see everything we wanted to see...the trip was so relaxing!
Not gonna lie, the first evening there my brain kept trying to think of things to worry about, and was almost unable to deal with having nothing come up. Normally I'm constantly aware of other things I "should" or could be doing, how much money I'm spending (or making my parents spend, in this case) on a meal, what to prepare for meals, all the things at home that need my attention.
At the resort though, especially that first night, the only things we should or could be doing were...whatever we wanted. We had a dining plan, so during dinner I couldn't be mentally calculating how much I was costing my family, because it was just "1 meal" and we had meals for the whole vacay pre-paid. I didn't have to say "no, no, I'm not buying myself anything" and then feel guilty if I did, because my dad very graciously planned ahead to cover some souvenirs for me, and even ENCOURAGED me to let myself look for something I wanted. And, thanks to a fantastic Relief Society President and Compassionate Service leader...the apartment at home was entirely, beautifully clean and organized.
So, what did I do, in the face of nothing to worry about for at least a week? What else could I do but cry! Especially that first night, every random little thing just set me off - seeing the hammocks on the beach of the lake, seeing the sunlight on the water, eating dinner and having nothing to stress about. I feel a little bit silly sharing that fact with the World Wide Web (aka a few of my personal friends who read this, lol!), but I think those bouts of tears were a release of years' worth of stress and pain. Nothing could have been better for me than that week at Disney World, with that chance to cry the way I needed to!
Well, I'm getting tired of being on the computer, so I'll just give the highlights of the week in chronological order. If you want to hear about anything in more detail, just ask!
1.) The Epcot World Showcase. I spent at least a full hour in the France Pavilion, another in the Morocco Pavilion, and had a lot of fun talking to the people there native to those countries. When I said "bonjour" to the gift shop boy "Geoffroy," this is what he said about my accent: "To my ear, it is French." And I talked to the gift shop boy "Yassine" in (very limited, mostly forgotten) Arabic, and he said I had a natural accent as well. I have decided once again that I need to travel the world...or at least the mediterranean.
2.) Magic Kingdom. Going to Tom Sawyer Island like we did as kids, climbing just like we did as kids, but in places we couldn't reach as kids and probably shouldn't have gotten to as adults...heckyes!
3.) Water Park. Lazy. River. 'Nough said.
4.) Sitting along the beach and writing.
5.) Animal Kingdom. We went on the little Safari thing, and we saw (and got pictues of!) elephants, giraffes, alligators, etc, and a lion - a lion that was actually standing on a rock height, not just lazing about! Incredibly majestic.
5.) one of the best things of my WHOLE WEEK - doing the "storybook princess" thing at Magic Kingdom by myself after the family had already gone back to the room, not knowing whether it was a ride or what, and then getting to talk to Aurora, Belle and Cinderella. We discussed literature, among other things. <3!
6.) Dinner at the Akershus Royal Banquet Hall on the Norway Pavilion on our last night there. We could see fireworks through the window and had wonderful, authentic Norwegian food - and I got alllll the princesses (it was Character Dining!) to sign the front flap of my writing journal. :)
So, whether on a planned vacation or at home, with loved ones or alone, I hope you get at least a few moments this summer where there's nowhere you need to be except where you are, and you can truly unwind.
Happy June!
Lauren
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