I made a tumblr!
http://wishiwould.tumblr.com/
Full of reposted geeky pictures, responses to other people's off-kilter geeky thoughts, but also my own story thinking out ness.
And for the description, I kind of accidentally wrote a poem! Thinking about an online screenname I often use, "WishIWould." At the time it was because I wished I would do more drawing, but I think I fulfilled that. So having a tumblr with the same name, I rethought what it meant to me NOW.
*
I wonder...I wander, and wish I really would
Write such wise and witty words that they could weave a wondrous world
Where will o' wisps and winged things can whisper to the wind
Which also carries werewolves' howls and wary yowls within
The wizards watch, and whirl and whir, and work their wily spells
While warriors wield their weapons, and the women wait at wells.
Wild wand'rers wake near waterfalls, and waifs wail out their woes.
And I, their warden, willingly, will walk where'er they go
Wreak war on them, win peace for them, and hold them while they weep.
For I'll love what I have wrought, and as their writer I them keep.
*
No title yet...suggestions?
I'm kind of proud of the fact that, as far as I can tell on scanning through...I didn't repeat any W words! ("will o' wisp" and "will" don't count cuz they're totally different meanings there.)
I was a little sad that I never worked in wyrd/weird (meaning "fate"), wold (moor, unforested rolling plain) or wasteland. Well, whatever!
Wishing you a wonderful evening,
WishIWould! (aka Lauren) :)
Monday, February 27, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The 5 Subconscious Ways I Sabotage My Love Life
...or at least, in my own perception! In all likelihood there's probably some "right place right person right time" business going on as well, but whatevs.
5. Not taking care of myself physically: when I don't take care of myself, I'm low energy, not my energetic self, sleepy and a bit complainy. MOSTLY, this is about sleep schedule. I always want to stay up late and sleep in, but I have a horrible habit of staying up so late that even sleeping in doesn't give me enough sleep. And/or, even enough sleep isn't restful at the wrong time.
4. Not taking care of myself hygienically: to clarify, I don't think I'm gross! But instead of being in the habit of getting ready for the day each morning, I push snooze forever and thus put off showering and face washing, etc for that morning, then get busy all day, then whoops! It's time for institute/fhe/friend time and I'm wearing a dandruffy ponytail!
3. Not taking care of my appearance: all of the above lead directly into make-up and hair, which lead directly into feeling excited about what to wear/how to dress instead of just picking out whatever's easiest (and has probably been worn 4 times in the last week). Being clean and made up and cute always makes me feel happy and - you guessed it - more like myself! And it's how I picture myself living my life in the future (when I'm feeling positive).
2. Fearfulness: I can get SO tied up in silly fears! I'm either worried that someone I'm not interested in thinks I am and I'm afraid to cut loose and just be a proper friend, or I'm worried that I'm being an obnoxious clinger to someone I AM interested. In both cases, the fear either causes itself to come true or results in me going into "detach and distance" mode. Silly me!
1. Being weird about my interests: I love a lot of things (usually historical, cultural, science fiction and fantasy things) and can get a bit obsessive, but besides the surface level, I don't relate on a deep level to other geeks who are really obsessive about their various geekdoms. The super-invested geek is generally not what I'm looking for in a guy. On the other hand, I LOVE random trivia and details and am chock full of them, and once I get started, man, I can just SPOUT off forever on a given subject! And I get very passionate about these things, and relate them to all sorts of deep stuff and wax philosophical about it. Example: I love Legend of Zelda. I've done drawings of the characters, know pretty much every game and how they relate, could probably write a thesis on the lore/timelines/consistencies/inconsistencies and the psychology behind it and how they reflect the qualities real folklore, etc. When I run into another Zelda nerd, it can be REALLY fun to talk about! But I'm so turned off by a guy who sits and plays video games all the time...see? My interests are quirky, and if someone else knows as much about them as I do, they're probably waaay too into it for me. On the other hand...I never know quite what to say to so-called "normal" guys who have a GOOD balance about entertainment vs other worthy pursuits, so I end up pigeon-holing myself as an extreme nerd/geek! And I do this to myself, I really do.
And it's all a cycle...getting into a research/"geek out" zone is usually what leads to improper sleep, which takes us right through the list again.
Ta da! Self-sabotage for the win!
Happy Valentine's Day!!!
By the way, I had a GREAT one. I made spinach-stuffed chicken breasts wrapped in bacon and served them to the sister missionaries and some friends for a Valentine's dinner, after which I saw P.S. I Love You for the first time with some other friends, after which I stayed up late talking to a very dear friend I don't get to see often enough. A day full of love! It was perfect.
Hope your Valentine's Day was grand! What did you do/opt not to do?
5. Not taking care of myself physically: when I don't take care of myself, I'm low energy, not my energetic self, sleepy and a bit complainy. MOSTLY, this is about sleep schedule. I always want to stay up late and sleep in, but I have a horrible habit of staying up so late that even sleeping in doesn't give me enough sleep. And/or, even enough sleep isn't restful at the wrong time.
4. Not taking care of myself hygienically: to clarify, I don't think I'm gross! But instead of being in the habit of getting ready for the day each morning, I push snooze forever and thus put off showering and face washing, etc for that morning, then get busy all day, then whoops! It's time for institute/fhe/friend time and I'm wearing a dandruffy ponytail!
3. Not taking care of my appearance: all of the above lead directly into make-up and hair, which lead directly into feeling excited about what to wear/how to dress instead of just picking out whatever's easiest (and has probably been worn 4 times in the last week). Being clean and made up and cute always makes me feel happy and - you guessed it - more like myself! And it's how I picture myself living my life in the future (when I'm feeling positive).
2. Fearfulness: I can get SO tied up in silly fears! I'm either worried that someone I'm not interested in thinks I am and I'm afraid to cut loose and just be a proper friend, or I'm worried that I'm being an obnoxious clinger to someone I AM interested. In both cases, the fear either causes itself to come true or results in me going into "detach and distance" mode. Silly me!
1. Being weird about my interests: I love a lot of things (usually historical, cultural, science fiction and fantasy things) and can get a bit obsessive, but besides the surface level, I don't relate on a deep level to other geeks who are really obsessive about their various geekdoms. The super-invested geek is generally not what I'm looking for in a guy. On the other hand, I LOVE random trivia and details and am chock full of them, and once I get started, man, I can just SPOUT off forever on a given subject! And I get very passionate about these things, and relate them to all sorts of deep stuff and wax philosophical about it. Example: I love Legend of Zelda. I've done drawings of the characters, know pretty much every game and how they relate, could probably write a thesis on the lore/timelines/consistencies/inconsistencies and the psychology behind it and how they reflect the qualities real folklore, etc. When I run into another Zelda nerd, it can be REALLY fun to talk about! But I'm so turned off by a guy who sits and plays video games all the time...see? My interests are quirky, and if someone else knows as much about them as I do, they're probably waaay too into it for me. On the other hand...I never know quite what to say to so-called "normal" guys who have a GOOD balance about entertainment vs other worthy pursuits, so I end up pigeon-holing myself as an extreme nerd/geek! And I do this to myself, I really do.
And it's all a cycle...getting into a research/"geek out" zone is usually what leads to improper sleep, which takes us right through the list again.
Ta da! Self-sabotage for the win!
Happy Valentine's Day!!!
By the way, I had a GREAT one. I made spinach-stuffed chicken breasts wrapped in bacon and served them to the sister missionaries and some friends for a Valentine's dinner, after which I saw P.S. I Love You for the first time with some other friends, after which I stayed up late talking to a very dear friend I don't get to see often enough. A day full of love! It was perfect.
Hope your Valentine's Day was grand! What did you do/opt not to do?
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Oh No!
I missed January! Without planning, I've written at least one thing EVERY month since I started! I was hoping I'd keep up with that...but now it's February. Goodbye, January 2012. So little time we knew ye.
Meanwhile...I'm going to turn in my graduation application on Monday! Ee!
In other news, some stuff is lame :/ For serious. So far this semester, I have to nap or lie down for a couple hours after my classes to make these weird dizzy waves go away. I really really really really need to set up an appointment with the fibromyalgia doctor...like I've been meaning to for years...I'm so awful that way! Making appointments, following my planned homework schedule, going to sleep on time and returning borrowed items. I'm bad at all of those things. Be warned! (though I've done really well returning borrowed items so far in 2012 :D I think...I might still have a VCR I borrowed forever ago that I need to return or replace....ugh I'm so bad!)
Feeling overall cheerful at the moment :) though perhaps with a more steady presence of relative "winter doldrums" than I like to let on.
Next time: the 5 ways I subconsciously sabotage my love life. (number subject to change.) ;)
Love you all!
Lauren
P.S. Oh no! The longest paragraph of all was the complaining one!
...Meh, I forgive myself. :)
Meanwhile...I'm going to turn in my graduation application on Monday! Ee!
In other news, some stuff is lame :/ For serious. So far this semester, I have to nap or lie down for a couple hours after my classes to make these weird dizzy waves go away. I really really really really need to set up an appointment with the fibromyalgia doctor...like I've been meaning to for years...I'm so awful that way! Making appointments, following my planned homework schedule, going to sleep on time and returning borrowed items. I'm bad at all of those things. Be warned! (though I've done really well returning borrowed items so far in 2012 :D I think...I might still have a VCR I borrowed forever ago that I need to return or replace....ugh I'm so bad!)
Feeling overall cheerful at the moment :) though perhaps with a more steady presence of relative "winter doldrums" than I like to let on.
Next time: the 5 ways I subconsciously sabotage my love life. (number subject to change.) ;)
Love you all!
Lauren
P.S. Oh no! The longest paragraph of all was the complaining one!
...Meh, I forgive myself. :)
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