SCHOOL ALMOST DONE AGH YAY

Okay okay okay I am FREAKING OUT WITH JOY! aghghghallalalalala yaaaaaay!

Not ONLY am I done WITH MY ENTIRE BACHELOR'S DEGREE except one harp lesson and one class/its final (!!!) but I've been reviewing my GPA stuff and grad school options! And I THOUGHT MY GPA WAS SO MUCH WORSE THAN IT REALLY IS!!!!!!!!

 In my mind I kept counting my medical withdrawal stuff as 0s, but they just don't count, period. ALSO, I keep basing where I think I'm at by how I felt I was doing at the time I took the course - so I assumed my major-only GPA was way worse because so much panic went into writing the papers and I only remembered the stress and missed deadlines. Also I've been sure all semester that my science class was going to be a C. As it really stands, if I skip the final ENTIRELY I still have a B! Which I of course WILL NOT DO because now I have the shiny golden prospect of an *A* peeking out from among the clouds.

POINT BEING my graduating cumulative GPA is going to be 3.31-3.36 no matter what I do, and though that's not up to my usual standard, it's NOT BAD! And my MAJOR'S GPA is going to be a 3.7 - the only two Bs being because of the post-anxiety-attack stress stuff I was still recovering from. So WOOOOOOOO! I feel GREAT! And, okay, I'm planning on applying to graduate school, of course...but I keep being like "well, I'm not going to get another loan and I don't have money, so I'll just have to work and wait." But it turns out, if I apply for joint MFA/PhD programs, you get all sorts of fellowship nonsense that covers the first two years or so of tuition and pays additionally!

 And I was reviewing the requirements for the creative writing program at Cornell and it's like the application requirements were MADE FOR ME (or at least I feel so now, in my giddy state). They include a creative writing sample of about 10,000 words and a literary critique-y essay of 3,000-5,000 words. I happen to have two things of the appropriate length on hand that just need some sorting through and refining! One, excerpts from the story of my HEART that I've been working on since I was 12, and which received the most positive reviews in workshops that I've EVER gotten, and the other, two papers on Milton's Paradise Lost that my teacher encouraged me to combine and seek critical publication for. I mean obviously it's not like I feel like "awwww yeah, Cornell's gonna love me, I'm so getting in!" but I'm encouraged to know I have stronger things to bring to the table than I ever thought.

 So.

Yay!

 2 days until my last class
3 days until my last harp lesson
7 days until my last final
12 days until my graduation

Another Random Thing I Thought As A Child

I remember when my little sister Lindsay found out that for us girls, our last name changed when we got married. I already knew that, so when Lindsay ran up to me at church all in a tizzy about it and said, "did you know your NAME changes when you get married?!" I thought she was presenting NEW information - that we ALSO get to change our first name!

I was wondering if we got to pick our own. I was thinking Melissa or Rachel. Surprising, because I adored the name Nicole and had been planning since forEVer to name my daughter Nicole and thus named all my favorite (brunette) dolls Nicole. But maybe it was just so fixed in my mind as my daughters name that I couldn't think of it as my own, though that didn't stop 8th grade me from designing an alter-ego named Nicole Booker, a librarian and novelist with curly, medium-dark brown hair who always wore very flattering fitted sweaters and glasses (this was before I wore glasses).

Anyway. It was while I was considering other names that I realized how much I loved Lauren Elise. I asked Mom if I could keep it. I already suspected I was wrong about the first name change anyway, but I don't think Mama pointed it out, just said yes, I could stay Lauren.

:)

BTW my niece Nicole, I think my loving your name so much before you were even born just shows how much I loved you already!