If you're me, all of these are guaranteed to help. If you're you, pick and choose what helps the most!
1.) Be on time.
Being late increases my feelings of awkwardness and makes it more likely I'll miss the Sacrament! It's true there's the issue of where to sit, but I'll get to that. Besides, when I'm on time I get to...
2.) Sing ALL the songs!
Which is possibly one of my favorite parts of worship services in general. I'm always sad if Sunday School or even FHE skip out on singing hymns. I particularly love singing the different parts (bringing the bass line an octave up, of course). Singing hymns automatically brings me into the moment, makes me feel engaged in the experience and a part of the ward.
3.) Share my thoughts.
Not a problem for me because, though I'm shy, I'm also expressive and can't help sharing even when I feel like a total loser on the inside. The key parts for me to remember are:
3a.) Don't be hyperaware of what impression I might make.
It's not about sounding smart, spiritual, in control or put-together. It's about how I might build up my own or others' testimonies by asking a question, or sharing a story/thought process.
3b.) Remember that I don't need to give disclaimers as a preface and/or excuse to what I'm saying.
3c.) I gain more when I'm willing to ask questions I don't know the answer to, and when I apply things to ME instead of "exhorting" others to feel or act a certain way.
4.) Unless it's one of those times when I need a little space, don't sit alone.
I have tendencies. I want to sit by and talk to certain people, but I'm too embarrassed to initiate said sitting/talking, so I'll sit alone. I have literally even been talking before class to people I desperately want to sit with, then hovered behind them when we file into class and found a place by myself so I'm not "pushing my company" on them by just sitting with them. And/or I go into my little detached La La Land, which is sometimes lovely and wonderful, and other times lonely and cold.
Instead of watching for the people I feel comfortable with and hoping they'll come take care of ME, I have better experiences when I watch for people whom I can serve and talk/sit next to them. :) this includes my visiting teachees, new members, new leaders, visitors, and other loners like me.
Caveat #1: though I'm expressive and loud, Self, remember that I'm an introvert and sometimes just need to not put out that effort. I'm always ok with others sitting by me, but sometimes I need to not push myself to initiate sitting by others.
Caveat#2: it's okay if I can't quite take off my "mask" around everyone. It's not a false version of myself, just a superficial protective layer (like skin) and that is natural and good. I don't need to fight it.
5.) Take notes.
I clearly process things best, receive more revelation, and remember things better when I write! I particularly like "T-charts" with "Principles learned" on one side and "inspiration" on the other. Designating space for inspiration invites it. I also do best with doodles, lists, self-evaluations (why do I...? How can I...this week?) and fear vs faith checks.
What are fear vs. faith checks you ask? Why I'll tell you! I heard that faith is the opposite of fear so I came up with this process. I admit and list my fears, (such as "I fear I'm not worthwhile" or "I fear I can't achieve everything I need to") and answer with a corresponding statement of faith, often accompanied by scripture or a line from my patriarchal blessing (such as "I have faith that the Lord only makes people who are worthwhile and I have a great deal to contribute to the world, 'remember the worth of souls is great,'" and "I have faith that the Lord will help me set priorities and accomplish what I need to, 'I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing he commanded them'").
6.) Come to Church for the Lord!
Often I focus a little too much on why I need Church. I have a much greater experience when I focus on why the Lord needs me and what I can do for Him. When I'm emotionally exhausted, I can come to church for me. But when I have anything available to give, I want to come for the Lord, and gift Him with the focus and worship he deserves. ESPECIALLY by making my worship center around partaking of His Sacrament.
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And that's how, when I actually listen to my own advice (ha), I make coming to church great even though I'm shy and awkward and think too much. :D
Loves!
Lauren
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