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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I feel so angsty lately! Let me just make a list of a few random things.

1. I misplaced my depression and anxiety medications 5 days ago and have been without.
2. I had to (at least temporarily) quit my job because I've been too sick.
3. I've been super-sick.
4. I hurt my feet really bad and have been literally unable to walk. Lame!
5. Feeling severely unwanted everywhere I go.
6. Money sucks and everything in life demands it.
7. I need to move and don't know where to go.
8. I got a milkshake and it spilled in my car, including on my purse
9. I picked up my purse from the bottom and everything spilled out of it onto the contents of the shake.
10. I got back to my apartment complex and saw that somehow I had dropped a bra on the blacktop and it had been sitting in the parking lot for who knows how long???
11. Finding it hard to feel positive, which sucks because I've always felt positivity is one of my defining traits so it's hard to even feel like I know who I am
12.
13. A random lady I don't even know decided she hates me because I tried to help out with a project and cut a piece out wrong (or something like that).
14. I have gained so much weight and I feel gross and unattractive.
15. I need my medicine and I hate that I need medicine. :(

Disclaimer I know I have good things going for me and people care about me blah blah blah etc and these feelings are not indicative of what most of my life has been like since last time I updated. It's mostly the lack of medicine, I'm sure. Just at a point where everything about myself and my life and even my relationships with the people I love makes me feel an excruciating sense of shame and embarrassment and self-loathing and I just want to cry all the time. I'll get over it.

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